What does a “good start to the day” look like?

It doesn’t start with having three 4s pop into the company’s login ID field after hitting the key just once.

The first time through, I didn’t notice, so I got a login error.

Then I paid attention. Every other keystroke was popping in two to three characters and backspacing took away just as many. Hmmm.

So, I took it one keystroke at a time and, after much trial and error, was finally able to get past the first guard-dog login screen, hoping it was just that particular application that was acting up.

Nope. The next login screen resulted in zero characters, no matter how hard I slammed my fingers down on the keyboard or even when I beat it with my now-bruised forehead.

Then I heard the printer. I wandered over to see what it had to say.

I quiiiitt!!!!!

Siinnncerellllyy,
YYourrr Keyyybboarrd

The resignation letter with extra characters thrown in was a little disturbing. If it hadn’t been for the other duplicate characters, I might have taken the number of exclamation points personally.

With a harumph, I headed to the drawer we should probably call the “Salvage Yard,” where the old keyboards, monitors, mice, and canned air live, and out came a clunky, dusty, big-keyed keyboard. I was thankful it was “darkest gray” and hoped that it worked.

It does, as this note can attest.

And now my fingers are basking in the loud clacking the keys make while they produce the exact number of characters requested. It’s a sound that has been sorely missed in the unrelenting move toward silent everything: keyboards, cars, people. (Next thing you know, we’ll have silent tornado sirens.)

This “new” old keyboard racket is comforting in the same way that sitting out on someone’s front porch, playing with Micronauts and drinking lemonade used to be. I’d say it’s a good way to start the day after all.